Thursday, May 28, 2009

Finding the Silver Lining

I found the silver lining to the delay. The more I think about it given how incredibly low my TSH was(TSH was .22) I really think it was probably low when we cycled which could have prevented implantation. If that was the problem given how good our embabies look if we fix my TSH then there is every reason to expect the FET to be a complete success, especially w/ transferring 2.

So I finally truly got my hope back and feel excited and optimistic about the FET leading us to our BFP!

So despite the delay and my initial reaction as always every cloud has a silver lining.

I'm also going to take June and get serious about getting healthy. I've been trying but it hasn't been working, given my TSH that's no surprise, so I'm going to start fresh on June 1 w/ the 30 day shred and dieting. So wish me luck!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009


I had my TSH/free t4 checked Friday and the results came back today and it's not good news. My TSH is .22, normal is between 1 & 2. So I start a new level of meds tomorrow to get the numbers back up but it'll be 4-6 weeks.

We have to postpone our cycle until at least July and that's if my TSH doesn't go too high and have to be adjusted again. I was so looking forward to cycling next month.

I know July isn't that far but it just seems like it right now. I know waiting is for the best but it's still really dissapointing.

I'm just glad I listened to my instincts and had it tested. I've been hypothyroid for years and the past few weeks I've had symptoms that indicated my meds were off so I called and got the nurse to order the test. I'm also wondering if maybe it was really low when we cycled b/c that can cause implantation failure. It wasn't checked right around the cycle so we'll never know but I do wonder.

I just wish it could be easier for us.

That's my update.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Beachin' it

Banks and I are headed to the beach for the long weekend :)
We're going w/ J&C and Munch as well as another couple that I don't know as well but they're dealing w/ IF and had a m/c a couple months ago.

I'm looking forward to getting away, even though the weather is suppossed to be awful. I'm planning to do lots of reading and knitting and chitchatting.

I'm hoping it's going to be a nice low key relaxing and fun long weekend. If nothing else it'll be nice to get away for a few days.

No news on the cycle of course. Starting to hope we can shoot for a mid- June instead of end of June ET. And we are planning to take the chance of twins and transfer 2 this time. I'd still prefer a singleton but twins would be good too.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I run to you

So things are much better here. I actually had a random thought about the FET working the other day, the first time I've been truly hopeful about it since the BFN.

It got me thinking and as much as the BFN hurt and was awful something good came of it. Banks has said all along that he was worried about what it would do to us if DE didn't work (b/c it was so important to me). I think it made us both feel better that as w/ most things it's just brought us closer.

I think it made Banks feel a lot better that even at it's worst he could make it better. He's such a guy and he hates not being able to fix things for me. We did what we usually do when things get rough and we turned to each other. I still wish the cycle had worked but at least something good came out of it.

Right now we're just waiting for my next AF so we can plan the FET. I'll let Pati know when it comes and we'll go from there. It'll hopefully be sometime in June, preferably on a Friday.

When it all starts coming undone
Baby, you're the only one I run to

"I run to you" Lady Antebellum

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My Angel

Thanks so much Rebecca&Nathan for the lovely Angel of Hope. The card was too cute as well. I needed the symbol of hope so much to keep the faith for our FET.

Tarah thanks for setting up the exchange, it really helped make M day easier having something to look forward to.

ETA: by request, the card is in French, it's a print of an old underwear advertisement. It says "try them you will jump for joy". It has these adorable animals w/ tighty whities, it's very cute and funny.

Saturday, May 2, 2009


In honor of National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) I thought I'd post this, it's perfectly describes what I feel and where I'm at in our journey to parenthood.