Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Waiting

I'm soo tired of waiting. I'm really hoping things start moving ASAP, we've got ~ 3 weeks until TSH is tested. I'd love, love, love to do the FET August 14 or 21. I don't think I can take another month of waiting. I'm having a really hard time w. it right now.

I'm ready to move forward and either start our family or start working on adoption. I'm still worried about the time adoption takes and the fact that I could be pushing 31 by the time it happens if we go that route and we wait too much longer to start.

I'm just so ready to be a mom and have my life start again. Right now it feels like I'm in limbo just waiting for the next step to happen. I can't get a new job until we're done w/ cycling b/c I wouldn't have time off to travel. I can't quit the job I hate b/c we need the money and the insurance coverage. I just want to be able to make decisions that aren't controlled by IF and our cycling.

I had a good time saturday w/ our friends and they're newborn. He was adorable and I feed him his bottle and cuddled him for a while after dinner. It was so close to what I want so badly that it was bitter sweet.

Bottom line I'm frustrated and ready for something to happen so we can either cycle and (hopefully) get pregnant or be able to start working on adopting.

“None of us knows what the next change is going to be, what unexpected opportunity is just around the corner, waiting a few months or a few years to change all the tenor of our lives.”
Kathleen Norris

1 comment:

KS said...

The waiting game is torture! Especially when it comes to the thryoid junk... Because you can feel totally fine and your levels still be crap!!!

I know exactly what you mean... You just want to get through all the cycling and get your life moving on from ttc. One way or another! I'm there with you. Hang in though, this is a long journey but it's ours and we have to learn, accept, and become stronger people because of it! Chin up!