My freak out about this cycle has started, the reality that this will be our last attempt at pregnancy (at least until after we adopt. We may or may not try again after that) hit hard over T-giving.
JK was very pregnant (34 weeks) and Banks’ cousin announced her pregnancy, fortunately we only found out via phone. It was hard watching JK and her adorable baby belly for most of the day and it made me very jealous when it hit me that I may never experience carrying our baby.
Banks’ cousin’s announcement was a surprise (sort of) they are/were dealing w/ IF as well so I’m really happy that they’re on the other side now but it still hurts. I want to experience that so very badly.
Getting hit by both really brought it home that this is it for the foreseeable future I’m trying to stay positive and imagine announcing our pregnancy at Christmas but it’s so hard.
On the upside I do feel good about moving on one way or the other come January. It’ll be very nice to get off this rollercoaster, granted adoption is as bad or worse but w/ that we know that at the end we’ll be parents. I keep reminding myself that I will be a mom one way or another and come January we’ll know which path we’re taking. I am looking forward to a fresh start in 2010, either expecting or working on adoption.
Oh, lining check is on Friday so we'll see if this cycle is a go then!