Saturday, June 14, 2008

Patience and other things

I am probably one of the least patient people on the planet. I have a really hard time waiting for things to happen, like our first RE de cycle appointment. I swear when we talked about when to cycle in December and settled on starting the process in August it seemed like forever and now it's just a couple of months. I'm pretty proud of myself because I've kept the impatience at a minimum during the last 6 months.

I'm getting so excited and nervous now that it's getting closer. Hopefully nothing changes the timeline and we talk/see the RE in August.

As it gets closer I'm getting terrified something will go wrong and we won't be able to cycle or I won't get pregnant. We haven't had any testing done since we're going straight to de we decided to wait since the tests are required to cycle anyway, why risk having to do them twice.

I'm worried about the wait from the initial appointment to the actual cycle also, it could be 6 months or more before everything is lined up and we can cycle, or it could be 3 months from start to beta. I'm worried it'll take us forever to find a donor that we like that is available, or we wait for a donor and she ends up not wanting to do another cycle, or something will go wrong w/ the cycle and it gets canceled

Then there is the big fear, I end up not getting pregnant. That's the thing I fear most, well that or a miscarriage. Going through all the meds, shots, and procedures, not to mention the money and not having a baby. I know we'd either do a fet or move on to adoption but I really hope it works the first time.
It's going to be really hard if it doesn't and that scares me.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours. Henry David Thoreau

1 comment:

DCat said...

It looks like we are on the same schedule!!! I too have all the same fears you do! I just keep thinking positive!!!!
I'll keep checking in on you!!!