No big surprise and I'm not as upset as last time, at least not yet. I'm still pretty numb. I'm not sure what we'll be doing next, we're definitely going to start putting together adoption info but I don't know if we'll do a FET during or not.
Financially I don't know if doing both is feasible or not. I don't even know how many of our snowbabies are left. The nurse is e-mailing me w/ that info though.
I also don't know if emotionally I can keep doing this, I don't want to waste much more time. If I had a crystal ball and knew it would work soon of course I'd keep going but w/ not knowing part of me wants to just focus on the next step.
The idea of giving up on being pregnant is SOOOO hard. I spent most of my life thinking pregnancy wasn't even possible but once I learned of Donor Egg in my late teens it was something that became improtant to me.
Debating between letting go of expreincing all that goes w/ pregnancy vs. wasting time on something that might not work but if it did would be amazing is tearing me apart right now.
To add insult to injury I have to face the holidays and seeing J.K. (godbrother's wife) either about to give birth or w/ a newborn. I love the holidays and I hate that IF is ruining them for me. I'm dreading sitting through Thanksgiving dinner and the annual Christmas dinner and all the other get togethers we're at w/ them during the holidays. What I hate most is that I'm bitter enough right now to feel like that.