Thanks for the support everyone, I appreciate it. Your understanding and sympathy means a lot. Not many irl get how hard this is.
DH and I are going to have dinner next week w/ His Uncle and Aunt who adopted their daughter. It's been 20+ years since then but it's a place to start looking into adoption and gather some info. He wants to use the same agency they did but I'm not sold on them. Their wait time for a caucasian infant is 2-4 yrs, for biracial 8-18 months. Both are on the longer side plus a couple of other things I don't love about it. However, his uncle does legal work for them which DH thinks will help move things along, I'm not so sure...
I really feel like I have to do one more fet. I think a part of me will always wonder what if, I need to do this to have closure before we move on.
Would I be crazy to look into transferring 3 if we do one more fet? A kind of hail mary pass thing. The idea of triplets scares the heck out of me b/c of my health and the prematurity of the babies. The main issue is that b/c of Turner's multiples increase my risk of aortic dissection which is life threatening. Any thoughts on how many to transfer if we do another fet?
I have to be honest and say I don't know if I'd be able to consider selective reduction in the case of trips, not saying we wouldn't ultimately decide we had no choice but I'd definitely hesitate to do that.