Friday, September 25, 2009

Where I'm at...

Thanks for the support everyone, I appreciate it. Your understanding and sympathy means a lot. Not many irl get how hard this is.

DH and I are going to have dinner next week w/ His Uncle and Aunt who adopted their daughter. It's been 20+ years since then but it's a place to start looking into adoption and gather some info. He wants to use the same agency they did but I'm not sold on them. Their wait time for a caucasian infant is 2-4 yrs, for biracial 8-18 months. Both are on the longer side plus a couple of other things I don't love about it. However, his uncle does legal work for them which DH thinks will help move things along, I'm not so sure...

I really feel like I have to do one more fet. I think a part of me will always wonder what if, I need to do this to have closure before we move on.

Would I be crazy to look into transferring 3 if we do one more fet? A kind of hail mary pass thing. The idea of triplets scares the heck out of me b/c of my health and the prematurity of the babies. The main issue is that b/c of Turner's multiples increase my risk of aortic dissection which is life threatening. Any thoughts on how many to transfer if we do another fet?

I have to be honest and say I don't know if I'd be able to consider selective reduction in the case of trips, not saying we wouldn't ultimately decide we had no choice but I'd definitely hesitate to do that.

6 comments:

embieadoptmom said...

Best to you on your journey. I will pray God leads you in the right direction. We have adopted 4newborns out of foster care. They came very quickly after we got our license (the first one just a month after) They are all caucasian although we didn't plan or want just caucasian kids.and the cost is ZERO. Just wanted to throw that out there. It has worked fantastically for our family.

Camano Island said...

I just finished my 5th IVF cycle on Sept 11th. It was my 2nd donor cycle and it was 2 embies FET. It was negative. More heartbreak. Last week I went to see a new RE at a different, bigger clinic. New RE has big ideas and I have hope again.Any way, on a fresh donor cycle he said he would only transfer two. On a FET he said he would transfer 3. FET donor or not only have a 30 to 33% sucess rate vs. fresh donor at 70 to 80% sucess. He talked us into to doing a new fresh donor cycle vs. another frozen cycle.

skrambled said...

A plan forward is always a good plan. I hope your luck is about to turn.

Twin Mommy said...

Oh Hope... My heart goes out to you right now! I'm sorry I've been MIA, but I'm not near my computer and i'm visiting family out of the country right now. Anyways... I'm adopted, didn't know if you knew that, but if you have questions, I can try to answer them. Also, I think that if you feel you need to do 1 more fet, then do it. Go with your heart, maybe it's God weighing it on your heart to do. Who knows... I would also transfer 3, you can deal with what happens later. I don't think having trips is common when you transfer 3, but I could be wrong... Anyways, I'm keeping you 2 in my prayers that you'll be able to be a mother very soon. It's tough and we all know the IF road is not an easy one, but you will look back at these days and say "thank you..." I know you can't say those words now, but you will. Much love and prayers :)

ks and jd said...

What is the grading on the 3 you have left? If they are all superstars then no don't transfer 3! Talk to your RE about what they think is the best option considering your medical condition.

I really think you will always wonder 'what if' if you don't finish trying with your frosties. But I definitely wouldn't shut the door on adoption / fostering either! Have a great dinner out and get as much info as possible! Wishing you well!

choice2make said...

I agree w/ks it really depends on the quality of the snowbabies. You know we put 4 back, 3 had minor fragmentation, and we still only had one take. But you also don't want to risk your health either, it's a tough spot for sure. Prayers for you & DH to find peace in your decision.