Thursday, April 30, 2009

All over the place

I'm still hanging in. I just wish I was in a better place emotionally, I'm all over the place.
I'm scared it won't work one minute, sure it will the next, terrified that we're wasting time when we could be pursuing adoption after that.

I think part of it is (and I know that this is stupid and not true) I feel like I failed on my part. The donor did awesome and gave us 17 mature eggs, Banks did his part and we ended up w/ 20 good to great embies all that was left was for the embie we transferred to settle in nice and snug for the next 9 months. So while I know better I still feel like I was the one who let us down. At least some of the time, the rest of the times I know better and it doesn't bother me.

So I'm making a little progress, and I start the 30 day shred today which will hopefully get me in great shape bef0re our FET.

3 comments:

Peeveme said...

Hey, So sorry you are going through this. It must be so hard. Doing a SET isn't easy...so much to second -guess. But I think you made the correct decision. The BFP rates are lower but the chance of multiples is lower. With SET it's just the luck of the draw. There are viable embys there. I do think it's going to work...it just didn't this time.

Take the next 1 1/2 months and go kick some ass. Get in killer shape and enjoy yourself.

Gina said...

I'm sorry you are going through this.


I wanted to tell you, that you inspired me to get the 30DS.

Andrea said...

Hang in there, sweetie. This was NOT your fault. I know you've got some great frosties that are bound to stick. Don't give up, though I know that's easier said than done at times. ((HUGS)) Rooting for you!